a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
