Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize