hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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