He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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