I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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