The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Pooping to opera.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
