I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
