Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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