I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
