went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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