Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
