id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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