wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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