I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize