i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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