Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We had sex on a dog bed..
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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