Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
