Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Me. At least after what I've been through.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
