It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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