I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize