Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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