He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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