Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
