ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
