do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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