3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize