Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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