So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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