Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
