If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Barsexuality is the new black.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Shame - the story of my life.
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