I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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