It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
