I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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