You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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