I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
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how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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