remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
