Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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