i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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