I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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