Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
