i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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