it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
