I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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