So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize