There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
