I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
