he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
