I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
