before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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