what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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