Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
