Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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