They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Randomize
