Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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