I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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