i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
